Nancy L. Neff February 2018 Newsletter
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Nancy L. Neff Coaching and Healing

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February 2018 Newsletter

Hello, and a fine February to you!
Welcome, or welcome back, to my newsletter. Today's issue has an article about resentment, and how it often hurts us more than those we resent. Enjoy!

Is resentment sapping your energy?
 resentful cartoon faces In my corporate job years ago, one of the managers was a fierce woman who used to regularly frighten many of us. In addition to yelling at folks, she would stomp around when she wasn't satisfied with some situation, glaring at anyone who got in her way. She was like a simmering pot on the stove, about to boil over at any moment, and no one wanted to engage with her and step into the line of fire.

With some distance, I can see now that she put on this dragon suit to get things done, and so she'd be respected in that male culture. When she left the area, she casually mentioned to me that maybe we could work together on some project in the future. This was the last thing I wanted! Give me a work partner who is cheerful, not angry and ready to go to battle. While she seemed to get some satisfaction from scaring people and "making a name for herself", she also didn't seem truly happy to me. I believe she carried a burden of deep resentment around with her at all times, which sat on her shoulders and weighed her down.

 Mandela resentment quote Variations on the Nelson Mandela quote to the left have been attributed to others, that resenting someone does more damage to us than to the person we resent. They may not even be aware of our feelings, or be dead! At some level we understand that resentment is what my energy teacher calls a lower-vibrational emotion. It's not productive or uplifting, and squanders our precious life force without giving us anything useful in return.
Resenting a situation is equally unhelpful. Are you harming the Weather Gods at all when you're full of resentment about a rainstorm at your long-planned outdoor gathering, or a snowstorm which causes your flight to be canceled? No -- you're only hurting yourself. And if you're occupied with thoughts of revenge or harboring deep annoyance about a situation you can't change, your wiser creative self isn't available to look for solutions, or to mine the gold from the experience.
 Buddha resentment quote A friend recently reminded me that when faced with an upsetting situation, it's helpful to ask "Can I do anything about this?". If so, moving to Plan B (which may have only been created a minute ago) is a better use of your time and energy than going into resentment, or a Poor Me attitude. If nothing can be done, acceptance is your best bet, especially for your nervous system. Getting upset about something that will not change is a sure way to hurt yourself emotionally, and maybe even physically.

Those inspiring stories of overcoming adversity, recovering from a "terminal" illness, or rising out of abject poverty to succeed when everything seemed hopeless, then going on to help others, are not told about people who stayed stuck in resentment. Bad and unfair things happen to most of us. We can't always choose our circumstances, yet we can choose how we respond. One of the most telling characteristics about someone is how he or she deals with change. I want to be flexible, not stuck in my old rigid or fearful ways of reacting. Life is not meant to be stagnation and resistance, but rather growth and change. That's my goal. I invite you to make it yours too.

To read about how I resented my early vision difficulties, and finally shifted my attitude, click here.

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Please send me your questions and comments
Let me know what you've wondered about concerning energy medicine or vision or dreams. I'll be glad to write a short article addressing that topic. Thank you to those who have sent me questions, or see a question you asked me in a private session written about here. You're helping many other people! Enjoy the beginning of your February. I'll write again in a few weeks. Take care!

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