Mid-January 2020 Newsletter
Hello, and a magical juicy Mid-January to you!
Are you holding too tightly to your limitations?
Welcome, or welcome back, to my newsletter.
Today's issue is about holding too tightly to your limitations.
Author Richard Bach wrote "Argue for your limitations, and sure enough,
they're yours to keep". When someone gives you a sincere compliment, and
you start listing all the reasons why you don't look that good today,
or are doing a lot of things poorly, you are drawing that cage of restrictions
more tightly around yourself. Why would you ever want to consciously crimp
your growth like this?
First of all, it may not be conscious. It's possible we're used to deflecting any praise
automatically, so we don't appear conceited. A friend saying "I love that outfit!" gets
the immediate knee-jerk reply of "This old thing?". Why not let in the
compliment? You don't have to strut and preen. A simple "Thank you! This color always
makes me feel good", or something similar, honors the connection with the other
person, and most important, does not belitte yourself.
The lady to the left is not doing what has traditionally been thought of as
"women's work", but she doesn't let that stop her. Are you using the justification
of "I'm too old" or "I'm not creative" or "I'm not good with money" or
a similar excuse to put a lid on your dreams? Like the first image above asks,
are you more tied to your struggle, of how hard it is and how many obstacles seem to
be confronting you, than of keeping your eyes on the goal and becoming a
more fulfilled version of yourself?
The Tall Poppy Syndrome, where those flowers sticking up above the others have their heads
lopped off to "fit in", could have been written with me in mind. I was near the top of
my class all throughout school, and was cautioned more than once to "dumb it down"
so others would like me. I was much more comfortable in the classroom interacting
with my teachers than socializing with my peers, so learning and studying were where I concentrated my energy.
Somehow I decided I wasn't likable, especially if you really got to know me and
didn't just want help with your homework. I carried that self-imposed limitation forward
for many years.
This belief that I wasn't likable, that I was too weird or different to have close
friendships, was just that, a belief. However I thought it was a fact and never examined
or challenged it. Now I know there are plenty of people who will
like me, and I've even developed some emotional intelligence to accompany my book smarts.
Might you have some limiting beliefs you're not questioning either? Think about it,
playing with possibilities. You might have more opportunities for expansion than
Finally, could there be an advantage in the limitation you're holding onto? This can be uncomfortable
to admit, so be gentle with yourself. You're doing the best you know how. Back when
I thought no one wanted to be my friend, I was protecting myself against the
risk of rejection. If I don't reach out, I can't be refused! And I eventually
decided it wasn't worth it to stay so isolated. I encourage you to reach out and
expand your own limits, making the most of what poet Mary Oliver calls
"your one wild and precious life".
To read about a limited way of looking, which if modified could improve
your vision and entire outlook,
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of 20 to 30 minutes, for us to discuss what you're looking for
in a coach, and to see whether you and I feel like a fit.
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Let me know what you've wondered about concerning energy medicine
or vision or dreams. I'll be glad to write a short article addressing
that topic. Thank you to those who have sent me questions, or see
a question you asked me in a private session written about here.
You're helping many other people!
Enjoy the second half of this special month of January.
I'll write again in a few weeks. Take care!