Nancy L. Neff Mid-November 2017 Newsletter
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Nancy L. Neff Coaching and Healing

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Mid-November 2017 Newsletter

Hello, and an excellent mid-November to you!
Welcome, or welcome back, to my newsletter. Today's issue has an article about living in a relaxed way. Does that sound impossible? Read on, and enjoy!

Living in a relaxed way
 quote about relaxing What if maybe, just maybe, "work" didn't have to mean "the sweat of your brow", pushing yourself and striving? And this could apply to working behind a desk or house-work or yard-work or school-work, or anything else you've formerly thought of as work? There's often an easier way to do something, and if we get too stuck in our familiar habits, we don't even look for a smoother path to the same goal. It may be as simple as just asking "How else could I do this?", perhaps taking the bus or train to work instead of fighting that rush-hour traffic twice a day. Or you might be able to ride with a co-worker a few times a week. And if you don't look for a more relaxing way to accomplish the same end, nothing will change. Who knows -- your boss may be agreeable to you working from home part of the time.

In addition to commuting, another place I see people who aren't relaxed is exercise. Joggers who appear to be suffering or even in pain or angry, clearly aren't having a good time, and may wind up getting injured if they keep forcing their body to do what they don't want to do. Think of the top athlete, the gymnast or martial artist performing complex moves while seeming to expend no effort. Being relaxed doesn't only mean lazing on the couch. You can imagine strolling through your neighborhood in a relaxed way. So can you imagine picking up the pace and still being relaxed, not straining? See if you can find a form of exercise you enjoy, which is not a struggle.

 girl washing a dish A big factor keeping me from being relaxed, whatever I'm doing, is not being fully present. Often I'm rushing, my mind not on what I'm doing but on the next task I have to do, or the one after that. I've found that I can enjoy almost anything if I pay full attention to the experience, the sights and sounds and feel of it. This is even true of the warm soapy water when I'm washing the dishes! I've been doing a daily meditative practice for several years, and as a result I seem to be approaching everything in a more meditative manner, whether I'm doing it slowly or quickly.

If I'm objective in looking at my past, I was hardly relaxed at all. I did everything, chores and homework and leisure reading and exercise, like I was in a race competing to be the first one finished, or like I was one step ahead of a pursuing predator. It felt like it wasn't safe to relax, like something would get me if I did, and I can't even tell you what that imagined something was. I was in Survival Mode, not fully enjoying my life. I seemed to be under constant time pressure, like Alice in the Lewis Carroll books, having to go as fast as I could just to keep from sliding backwards. I do not recommend living this way!

So I invite you to take a look at your own life. If you're not as relaxed as you'd like to be, is there a particular sore spot calling for your attention? It might be your job, or your family, or your health. If you had an objective friend looking at this, what would she recommend? Maybe you need to get some help with your many responsibilities instead of trying to do everything alone. Or let yourself fully grieve that big loss instead of pretending you're "fine" and soldiering on like nothing happened. Or concentrate on self-care instead of always caring for others. Or maybe you need to "accept the things you cannot change", as Alcoholics Anonymous teaches. If you're in fight or flight, your body and mind are using up their resources. You want to be in relax and replenish and heal and grow mode, so you're not just surviving, you're thriving.

To read about using your eyes in a relaxed way, click here.

Have you wondered if my work could help you?
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Please send me your questions and comments
Let me know what you've wondered about concerning energy medicine or vision or dreams. I'll be glad to write a short article addressing that topic. Thank you to those who have sent me questions, or see a question you asked me in a private session written about here. You're helping many other people! Enjoy the remainder of your November. I'll write again in a few weeks. Take care!

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