rainbow eye image
Nancy L. Neff Coaching and Healing

LifeForce Abundance Coach
Vision and Energy Coach

 Nancy in red jacket

Email: Nancy@NancyLNeff.com

LifeForce Abundance Coaching Sessions
Complimentary Discovery Session

Contact Nancy

April 2019 Newsletter

Hello, and an amazing April to you!
Welcome, or welcome back, to my newsletter. Today's issue is about self-talk, how it can hurt you or help you. Enjoy!

How do you talk to yourself?
 cartoon speaker of possible words Are you your own biggest fan and cheerleader, or are you your biggest critic? You may have a friend who is constantly talking about herself in a disparaging manner, saying "I'm so stupid!" when she makes a simple mistake, or I'm so fat!" when she gains a pound or two. When I meet someone like this, I wonder if the person is repeating words heard from a critical parent or coach or teacher years ago, which have now been owned and internalized. And I use this negative self-talk as an example of what I don't want to do to myself!

Self-criticism doesn't feel good. When I gently challenge someone I hear making a derogatory remark about himself or herself, the person will often say "But I am bad with money!" (or whatever the negative focus is), as if it's an unchangeable fact. When I point out that repeating what you're not happy about reinforces it, I can see them struggle trying to embrace the opposite, which feels like a lie, a laughable fantasy. How can someone say "I'm rich!" when the rent is due and there's no money to pay it? Being wealthy is too far removed from the person's current state to be believable.

 transforming can't to can To stay with the theme of finances, of course saying "I'm rolling in wealth!" feels sad and cruel if you have major debt, and your energy system will reject it outright. You might try "I'm learning better financial habits", or "I used to be terrible with money, and I'm becoming more responsible". You want to say something you believe which feels encouraging, to urge you to continue going forward on this healthy path. It won't be helpful if it's too different from your current self-image -- you won't let it in.

When you speak positively about yourself, does a little voice argue with you? You might be congratulating yourself with "I got out to exercise 4 times this past week. Good for me!". Then the little voice, like a devil on your shoulder ready to tear you down, chimes in with "You'll never keep this up. You know you're naturally lazy!". In my EFT training (for more about EFT click here) we call this little voice a tail-ender. You tell yourself you can do something, and instead of a warm feeling of optimism, you feel hopeless because the little voice adds "Yeah, right!" sarcastically, or "Not in a million years!".

 little engine that could Once your nay-saying voice has been identified, don't try to silence it. Let it speak, so you can understand what it's trying to tell you. Maybe it just wants to keep you from aiming for the stars, then being disappointed when you only reach the treetops. Or maybe this isn't even your own negative voice, but that of some authority figure in your past, and you realize it doesn't apply in the present situation.

This kind of conflict can drain your energy, keeping you from moving forward with what you hope to accomplish. You can experiment with journaling about this, or debating out loud, giving both sides air time. Try saying "I can do this!", then "No, I can't! Who am I kidding?", maybe tapping while you talk if you know EFT. When I do this for a few minutes I usually end up laughing at myself, which is a wonderful release of energy. Whatever your strategy for transforming the Voice Of Doom And Gloom into a supportive fan, it's worth doing. Like the Little Engine That Could from the children's story, if you truly think you can do it, you'll find that's usually the future you create for yourself.

To see an article about how self-talk affects vision, click here.

Have you wondered if my work could help you?
I'm now offering complimentary Discovery Session consultations of 20 to 30 minutes, for us to discuss what you're looking for in a coach, and to see whether you and I feel like a fit. To schedule your Discovery Session, click here.

Do you want your own copy of future newsletters?
If a friend forwarded this to you, or you're reading it from Facebook or LinkedIn, this is a hit-or-miss method of receiving it, and you might not see it next time. If you'd like to be on my distribution list, you can join here. You can un-subscribe at any time. Thank you!

Please send me your questions and comments
Let me know what you've wondered about concerning energy medicine or vision or dreams. I'll be glad to write a short article addressing that topic. Thank you to those who have sent me questions, or see a question you asked me in a private session written about here. You're helping many other people! Enjoy the start of your April. I'll write again in a couple of weeks. Take care!

Be generous! Share this newsletter with your friends and family. Share this page >

Click here to see past newsletters.

Click here to unsubscribe.

© Copyright 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019. All rights reserved.