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Nancy L. Neff Coaching and Healing

LifeForce Abundance Coach
Vision and Energy Coach

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Email: Nancy@NancyLNeff.com

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Mid-May 2024 Newsletter

Hello, and a meditative Mid-May to you!
Welcome, or welcome back, to my newsletter. Today's issue is about being imperfect, and accepting that. Enjoy!

Oh no! I'm not perfect!
 shooting yourself in the foot Even though we may be wonderful open-hearted skilled compassionate people, none of us is perfect. Sadly, well-meaning parents, teachers, coaches, or bosses might have drummed it into us at an impressionable age that if we're not perfect, we are close to worthless. As a child and teen I did very well in school, yet when I came home with a test with a 98% or 99% grade, the focus was on what I had missed, ignoring all that I had gotten right.

The perfectionism that I developed from being in this environment has served me well in some ways, leading to accomplishments in career, athletics, and relationships. However I realized I had learned to treat myself like my parents had, focusing intently on every mistake and criticizing myself for it, rather than celebrating what I'd achieved. As I set out to be kinder to myself, it became glaringly obvious that the same area where I considered myself most imperfect, my limited eyesight, was also the area where I criticized myself the most harshly.

 self-criticism quote In my elementary school classes I was either the only child with glasses, or there was one other girl who wore glasses which were nowhere near as thick, or as strong of a prescription, as mine were. I got the loud clear message that there was something different about me, and it wasn't something good. I felt defective. I pushed myself to excel, often being the top student, yet still considered myself inferior due to my thick glasses. I was a fast runner, but couldn't catch or hit a ball in games because my glasses interfered with my depth perception.

Many years later, past college and late into my second career, as I started to investigate improving my vision, I faced the self-criticism monster head-on. My vision without glasses or contact lenses was more limited than I wanted to admit. However I knew hiding from this reality wasn't helping me. The holistic ooptometrist I visited told me I had no serious defects like glaucoma or cataracts, that the "good news" was I just had a lot of tension in my visual system. This was good news because tension can be released, though I had no idea how to do that back then.

 struggle leads to growth For most of my life I'd recognized I was "high-strung" or "tightly wound". People had been telling me forever to lighten up, and I thought this was just the way I was wired. If all the tension I was carrying in my body and mind was affecting my eyesight in a negative way, if I learned how to relax more, would I be able to see more clearly? I started meditating, then experimenting with other energy practices like EFT or "tapping". I started taking the relaxing vision practices more seriously, and doing them more regularly.

It's a truism that "we don't know what we don't know". My way of proceeding through Life has been a little too focused on striving and struggle, conquering obstacle after obstacle with great effort. This worked well in some areas, but is not helpful in vision improvement. I wasn't wrong (letting go of the self-criticism here), I just needed an additional focus on receiving and allowing. Paying attention to my self-care, especially noticing when I need a slower pace or to rest, has been essential. Perfection is overrated. Just put your attention on being your unique self, which no one else can do as well as you can. And appreciate yourself, while you're at it, since we badly need your contribution.

For an old post about realizing I don't need to be perfect, click here.

EFT series with a master teacher!
My skilled insightful EFT teacher Dr. Carol Look is offering a new 3-week 6-session series which started on May 6th, Unlock Your Abundance. I can't recommend Carol's work highly enough. Note that your own abundance challenge may be financial, or with health, relationships, or in some other area. We had 3 activation sessions to get ready, in February, March, and April, all of which are still available, as well as any other sessions you missed. You can check out the details here.

Have you wondered if my work could help you?
I'm now offering complimentary Discovery Session consultations of 20 minutes or so, for us to discuss what you're looking for in a coach, and to see whether you and I feel like a fit to work together formally. To schedule your Discovery Session, click here.

Do you want your own copy of future newsletters?
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Please send me your questions and comments
Let me know what you've wondered about concerning energy medicine or vision or dreams. I'll be glad to write a short article addressing that topic. Thank you to those who have sent me questions, or see a question you asked me in a private session written about here. You're helping many other people! Enjoy the second half this mesmerizing month of May. I'll write again in a few weeks. Take care!

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